Joyska's Journal: So now what?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

So now what?

I've decided to start a new challenge. There are 170 scriptrures... mostly chapters that refer specifically to the End Times. There is an 80 day reading plan that gets me through those along with a few different dvd series from our pastor and of course a wealth of information on It' s time once again to really study the End Times.

I actually stated on Friday and am 3 days in already. It's an interesting study having just finished the whole Bible in 90 days. I am finding that there even as I read through it the first thime I had placed stars by those passages that I felt were specifically end time prophesies and am pleased to see that so far I was correct.

I had a discussion yesterday with a trusted friend asking the question of what is next for me. Their response was I have been through a year and more of intense healing and have moved quickly through it, now is time to build stamina. At first I thought "for what?" And then I rememberes how quickly I burn myself out by jumping into ministry or work or whatever with everything I am. I do thrive on structure and pressure, and as a result take on too much. This was a great reminder that my main goal is to Glorify God in everything I do. I am working full time, I'm involved in the prayer and worship and church on different levels, and I'm studying -- right now the word, but soon will be taking courses. That is a lot already.

It's time for me, I think to continue working on discovering God's plan for me, for my own growth, but also to pursue Him in prayer and worship to give honour to His name, and to tell others of His glory. That is my purpose now. And that is a wonderful privilege.

So how does this relate to studying the end times? I guess it's all about perspective. Jesus is returning and he demanded that we stay alert and watch for His return. It comes up over and over in scripture. I want to be diligent in that and ready for whatever comes whenever it comes. He wrote those words over 2000 years ago, and His disciples lived it like He was coming back tomorrow and it changed them... the way they lived, the boldness in which they spoke the message of the Kingdom, and the priorities they held. That is how I desire to live my life... as if Jesus were coming tomorrow. Even as I write that I think... okay what priorities need to change?

I know that I want to speak boldly to those I love and care about, not holding back because of fear they won't like me... and yet speaking in love. I know that it causes me to be much quicker to forgive and ask for forgiveness as if time were short. Time is short, whether He comes back tomorrow or a thousand years from now. It is short for me. For each one of us. A young man at the Seminary was in the prime of His life a year ago, and in less than 4 months cancer took him from us. Time is short and as I said to my friend... I don't want to waste another minute of it. I've wasted enough time.

So again I fight with the delicate balance of being in prayer and worship and being out in the world working for Jesus, especially where the poor are concerned. But I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was made (to borrow a line from a song) for loving You (Jesus) I was made for loving You. Whatever that looks like... that is what I am after. And loving Him means following His commandments and knowing and living out the fact that He is love. The rest, I'm discovering is up to Him.
Joyska at 4:35 AM


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