getting it vs. getting it right

Rough week. I know that God's hand is moving in my life in the lives of everyone around me. But sometimes you just feel stuck.

I'm reading through 2 Chronicles right now (soon to move into Ezra) and am again amazes at how easily the kings would disregard the word of the Lord and the incredible price that the nation paid for that disregard. But it shows God's mercy. He would allow other nations to invade, to take over, to send Isreal into exhile UNTIL they cried out to the Lord.

Someone told me lately that some of things that I am trying to walk through and figure out are an opportunity to grow spiritual muscles. I like that. It's all about knowing God, His infinite love, His unending mercy and His life altering grace. If I can focus there and make daily and life decisions based on those realities, I am running after God and his heart, and I'm building spiritual muscles. It's not about getting it right, it's about getting it... knowing who I am and where my security lies.

David was a king after God's own heart. He didn't always get it right (as the story of Bathsheba tells us) but he did "get it". So as I read through the old and new testament, I see it again and again. God is looking for those who understand his heart and are willing to pursue it... even when we screw up the pursuit.

Yeah God! I am truly thankful that you are drawing my heart and that I'm just beginning to "get it".

When you know that you know!

This week has been a discouraging one. Part of it has been feeling sick, sugars out of wack, and just a general sense of agitation.

So I went and talked to a wise man(Mr. Brian Creary). As we were discussing the slow process of visas etc, for the move to Kansas City, I expressed that I was feeling uncertain... Is this really what I am supposed to do, what about the kids here, what do I do if I'm wrong, and many other whiney comments. Well, after hearing me out, he asked that if I knew before, what has changed?

What has changed? The process has not been an easy one, but it hasn't changed that I know that I know I'm supposed to go. It's so easy to get caught up in the stress of it, the "unknown" aspects of it that I begin to question whether I heard God right in the first place. But I know. The month after I returned from Kansas in July, I fasted, I prayed, and I heard. "GO"

So know that I have given my head a shake, I am ready to refocus. The process of leaving is a hard one, it hurts and it feels disorienting, but as my wise friend said... it is the adventure of God. If I can hear and obey regardless of other circumstances, I grow in intimacy with my God. That is the goal.

So... onward and upward... because I know that I know.

No TPB Quote today... I'm getting too rusty and I want to get it right... I'm watching it Saturday night at my house... 7:00, you want to watch it? Call me.

If you know that you know... whatever you know... go after it!

mmm... french fries

Not too much new to say today. I'm feeling better than i did last week so that's always a good thing.

Do you ever crave things that aren't good for you? (UH, if you haven't... stop reading and find another blog to read!) I am CRAVING french fries. So I went to McDonalds today for lunch and had some. My friend suggested that we should write a letter to McDonalds and tell them they could save money and time in their pursuit to kill us by just opening us up at the door and shoving fries in our arteries. (Nice image heh?) I said that would loose all the flavour. Someone told me once that all the flavour is held in fat. I like that. So, now I can say, I'm not fat, I'm full of flavour!!! hehehehe

I also CRAVE...now I know this will be hard to believe, but I CRAVE Diet Coke. (But I can stop anytime I want to...). So at McDonald's today, I supersize the drink and the fries. See, but McDonald's is tricksy. They only give you Monopoly thingies on their LARGE fries and drinks. It's like Coke when they put prizes under the caps of their bottles. 99 times out of 100 it says TRY AGAIN, so I feel obligated to... (Let's analyze this paragraph... craving, blaming, rationalizing... NOPE, no addictions here!)

Then there is chocolate. But I won't even go there cuz, well, I'm a diabetic and don't want to admit it.

So what to do with all these cravings? BE STRONG, WALK... NO, RUN AWAY, DRINK WATER, EAT A GRAPEFRUIT!!

Uh... I gotta go. I think I need to make a DC run...

TPB Quote:
AH, the sod has spoken. Do you want me to send you back to where I found you? Unemployed in GREENLAND?!! And you! when I found you, you were so slithering drunk, you couldn't even buy BRANDY!

(I think that's how it goes... I'm getting a little rusty... It's time to watch the movie again. Anyone want to join me?)

Sunday AM thoughts

I have had a week of being sick and sitting on the couch for hour after hour watching far too many movies and moving far too infrequently. I got out on Friday night for a bit and again yesterday for a little while, but other than that I have been home, sitting on my butt watching the "Back to the Future" Trilogy, my older movies like "Some Like it Hot" with Jack Lemmon, and "The Apartment" (also with Jack Lemmon), "Dead Man Walking","Princess Diaries" (that one was on TV) "Lord of the Rings-the Return of the King" (not the whole trilogy...), well I guess you get my point. Too many movies for a weekend anyway.

I'm back in the office this morning though, excited about the day. Today we are inviting the parents of our grade 1-4s up for a Sunday Kids Church experience. We have been trying new ways in which to encourage our kids to pray for and with their parents and the idea of inviting them up to do just that seems like fun. We'll see how it all pans out. (At the very least, parents will get a glimpse of what happens from Sunday to Sunday!)

Well, I come in this insanely early (6:30 am) for a reason, so I should probably get to the task at hand! (Prayer and prep go hand in hand on this job!)

TPB Quote for the day:

"Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something?"
"I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. They're terribly comfortable!"

blah blah blah...

Not much to say these days. Maybe it's the blah weather. I was sick most of yesterday and am still feeling a little out of it today. Maybe it's a good day to go home and... watch a good movie.

Movies are a growing weakness in me. I have way too many... but I keep buying more. They were on sale 3 for $20.00 at HMV this week... I bought 6. That brings my total of DVDs into the 80s. VHS titles are more around 70 or so (78 to be exact). The sad part is, they are all alphabetized. The other night Cheryl and I were going to watch one. She named a title, and I told her which row and where in the row she could find it... you see, I enjoy looking at my movies and keeping them in order as much as I enjoy watching the movies... I know... get a life!

Well, all this movie talk is beckoning me home. I've been here since 9:00 and it is now almost 2:00. FOr a part time job, it's not bad!

Have a great day and well, go see a movie!(and then tell me if it's worth buying!)

TPB Quote for today
"Go away or I'll call the brute squade!"
"I'm on the brute squade"
"You ARE the brute squade!"

deep calls to deep

Lord we have heard of your great fame , cause all to shout your name! Put a cry in us so deep inside that we cannot speak and we weep and cry out to you. Salvation spring up from the ground, rend the heavens and come down.

I got back from the WCV women's retreat last night and was moved again at how the Spirit moves. There is a deep cry in the heart of many to see Jesus' face, to know him intimately, to truly understand his call in our lives and know him as king, bridegroom and judge. I feel such a stirring in my own heart as I wait on him. I know that it is so important for times like the retreat to be rejuvinated and refreshed and one of the best ways is to know His nearness and His commitment to us. And to give those things back to him. To long to be close to Him is good, but it goes hand in hand with going near to Him. That's what He is teaching me. Daily.

I was struck with a desire to pray for the babies and the babies that are coming this weekend. Of course it helped that there were 12!!! babies at the retreat! Each one with their own personality, their own unique cry, and each with the Spirit of God! There is such beauty in that!

Anyway, I must now turn my mind and heart to the task at hand. There are many children about to descend on us here at the church and I need to "prepare the way". Please pray that the Father gives wisdom, words and authority as we talk again today about miracles and the wonders of God. I have the greatest job!!!

TPB Qoute for today:
My heart made that cry when they killed my father, the man in black makes it now.


May the cry of your heart be a longing for your true love!!!

The children are coming!

It's good to be home again. I feel like the weeks just are flying by. I look outside and the leaves are almost gone off of the trees, the air is crisper and cooler, I've pulled out some of my fall/ winter jackets and we are almost half way through October! Now I know this is not news to you. But I am sad at how quickly the weeks are going by.

The trip to Kansas was great. I'm always touched and moved by God everytime I go. I hung out a little bit with the kids on Sunday Morning and Lenny, the Children's Equipping Center Director, asked the kids to come around me and pray for me. I'm humbled everytime this happens. The kids are hearing God! A couple of the kids spoke directly into my life and to the things of my heart. In many ways I am undone by that.

We came back here and last night we had Prayer Ground with our kids from WCV. It was an awesome night as we watched kids place their hands on the map of Winnipeg and prayed for the areas of our city. I was moved as one of the kids during a worship song, placed their hand on the globe and prayed for different places on the earth. Then we asked God to speak to us for each other, and the kids saw pictures about God being with us and I was excited! And I was humbled again as one of the kids felt that God told them to pray for ME! It was awesome! I am even more convinced that God is working in and through our kids! I'm seeing it every where and my heart is to see it more and to be used by God to release even more of them!

TPB QUOTE of the day:

I wonder if they are using the same wind we are using...

We're off to see the Wizard...

The wonderful wizard of OZ. "We're not in Kansas anymore TOTO!" Oh wait... we are going to Kansas! In 4 and 1/2 short hours we will be driving to Kansas City. I am excited and for some reason nervous as well. I'm sure it will be great and I think there are many things that God has in store for us. The 12 hour drive isn't too bad and it goes quickly when you start off in the middle of the night. So as you lay your heads down to sleep dream and snore, we will be driving further and further south.

Did you know that to get to Kansas City IHOP (international house of PRAYER -- not pancakes!) from WCV (Winnipeg Centre Vineyard) you literally make 2 turns? Turn left on to Salter, drive for 12 to 13 hours and turn Right on to Red bridge Road. I find that very cool. So literally to get to IHOP, take a left and then a right and you are there!

I am hoping to really get a better idea of what is happening in the Children's Equipping Center when I get there. Lenny is doing a children's track with the conference so I hope to connect with that as well as the Women in Prophetic conference. Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be good.

Anyway, if I can access a computer while I am there, I will blog and fill you all in on the exciting adventures. If I can't, well... pray for us and I'll update when I return.

I will leave you all with a quote from a highly esteemed and much quoted movie:

"And then my eyes and my ears, I know, get on with it!"
"Wrong, your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish-- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out 'Dear God, what is that thing?!' will reverberate forever in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means that I leave you in freakish misery forever.
You're bluffing
It's possible, pig, you miserable vomitous mass, I may only be lieing here because I lack the strength to stand (gets up from the bed)... Drop your sword"

what? a serving for one?

WEll, the big catering weekend is done! THANK YOU ERICA, STEPHANIE, AND CHERYL for all your hard work. It was a great weekend to which all the pastors of this huge region of ours were kept warm, and well fed.

They were thirsty men and women though! We went through 9 cases of water in 4 days! TONS of Coffee, tea and juice, and water from the tap. Thirsty as camels they are!

So when it all ended yesterday afternoon, I went out for supper and let someone serve me for a change! Very nice. It did surprise me though how little a serving for one looked like after seeing ROASTERS full of food all weekend.

I found in one of the pastors (Bill Galston) a kindred spirit of the Princess Bride. I have known for years of his liking of and obsession with this movie, and have often found ourselves quoting from it in casual conversation. This weekend it was almost a challenge as we brought out the food because he would say a quote and then I was expected to come up with the following. I think I have met my match, however, I did hold my own.

So Bill, this is for you:

TPB Quote of the day:
"Sir, we are in a terrible rush, so..."
Don't hurry me sonny, you hurry a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."

I need to make this a short blog today, but I will fill you all in on the saga of my life tomorrow before I head to KC for the weekend.

See ya!

half way there

the last two days have been crazy! The catering is going really well, but it is a tone of work! Not that I didn't know it was going to be, but, yeah, i didn't take into account this would have on my physical body!

I laughtd at myself yesterday. I was getting tired and was making a jelly roll. The recipe sied to beat the egg yolks until they were thick and lemon coloured. I asked Erica how long it will take for the eggs to get lemony. (More time than we have I'm afraid!) I was tired. Last night, around 9:00, Erica and I were standing by the stove mixing and rolling thousands of meatballs. I think the tiredness was settling in as we were wildly amused by the fact that (as Erica called it) we were just playing with meat carcass playdough with chicken ovulations... (otherwise known as eggs). Erica is banned from hanging out with the kids by the way!

So we are half way. Today and tomorrow and then we can say good bye to thinking about making everything in quanities to feed 60! (and then it is off to KC for the weekend!) I guess we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel (or end of the table...) hehehe

TPB Quote:

Fezzik, you did something right!
Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head.

the quiet before the storm

Well, it is 9:00 Friday morning... literally hours away from the start of this confrence thingie. There are around 60 pastors coming from Alberta, SK, MB and the NWT and will soon (by 2:00) descending apon our little WCV community. It's the big wigs like Gary and Joy Best, as well as all the faithful little Vineyards across our HUGE region.

Remember the Catering comments from a while ago... well guess what... we are now doing it! So much for beef tenderloin tips in a black pepper sauce! No, we've got a great menu and they all will eat well... my team, (Erica Seales, Cheryl Janzen and Stephanie Steele) will wow them! Or so we hope.

This is a four day event, after which I have 2 days to prepare to leave for Kansas City for the weekend. This is why I was dispairing about the end of September. October is crazy and I didn't feel quite ready for it. And then it comes with SNOW in the forecast! Who would of thunk it?

Enjoy your weekend and try not to hate MB weather... It ain't Siberia... (I know... shut up Mary sunshine!

TPB Quote

The loser means nothing. Only the Princess matters.