on my own

Well, it's official. I am living on my own. By myself, no room mate. I haven't done that in 6 years. It's actually nice... today. I'm not sure living completely on my own is what I want to do, but it will be great for awhile. Pam and her friends are moving her stuff out as I type. I offered to help, but they seem to have it under control. It is mostly her room, I own more of the common stuff, but still it is strange.

I will be looking for a roommate to move in for August 1, and if I could afford to, I would chose to look at living on my own. I have a great apartment, and it has two bedrooms, but having a room for visitors and/or an office is a great idea to me too. Whatever happens, I trust God for provisions.

Right now though, I am preparing for my talk for the teens (all 200 of them) tomorrow morning and then preparing for my 4 and 5 year olds on Sunday. I am hoping for some inspiration from the Lord, cuz I don't have a lot for Sunday yet. But again, I am always amazed at what God speaks sometimes that very morning. As I look at these kids, I am humbled and awed at what God does through them and in them... often in spite of me!

It's all good and what God has for me, so how can I ask for anything more? :)
Well, back to the prayer room. I have much to pray for and about. Soon more Winnipeg visitors are coming... that makes me happy!

try that again

I keep hitting enter instead of tab... causing a publish instead of moving down to the place to write the post.... ANYWAY

Okay... THIS is gross!
I'm sitting here innocently watching the news waiting for someone to come and fix my air conditioner when they start a story about a "sewer peeper" A young woman went to use an out house type bathroom at a rest stop. As she looked into the toilet there was a man looking up at her...

Seriously. The guy had climbed into the tank... the police have no idea how long he was there, but from his stench, he was waiting for quite a while. Okay that is the grossest thing I have ever heard!

I hate out houses anyway, but that is one more reason to wait for a gas station!!!

Okay... this is gross!

still sick

Please pray, I am still sick... today is day 10, and the last two days have been dealing with fever as well. I live in a place where there are "healing rooms" so I am off to the prayer house this afternoon. I'm sure it is a simple virus, but it isn't a lot of fun...

The weather is 95-98 degrees, and our air conditioner is broken... they are coming to fix it today, but fever an 98 degree weather isn't fun either.

But God is good and faithful... i will soon be well.

SHHHHHHH! A "quiet" week

A week ago I lost my voice. I still don't have it back. Partially because I was at camp for four days and used it to control 11 child in my group... or tried to.

Sydney (Dwayne Roberts daughter... and yes Chloe's sister) was my interpretor. There were a few translation issues like:

Joyska: Sydney tell the girls to be quiet
Sydney: GIRLS: SHUT UP!!!

Joyska: okay girls, you need to listen... i'm getting a little frustrated
Sydney: SHUT UP, You guys are TERRIBLE kids!

Not exactly what I wanted her to say, but the kids did stop talking!

Since I have lost my voice, i have noticed how easy it is to slide into the background. I am trying not to use my voice, so when you aren't talking people can actually take advantage of that. I was on the shuttle yesterday going to the EGS, and usually I am talking with someone. I ended up sitting in the back, having one young lady talk TO me for the full 10 minute ride. I didn't say a word, and the funny part to me was that I don't think she noticed!

Then I was sitting on the patio in front of the coffee shop the other day, and discovered that again, if I don't talk, people either walk right by, or talk non stop.

One thing that has surprised me, is how often I have wanted to voice my opinion, my story that relates, defend my position, etc. Being quiet and letting conversations just happen around me has been quit a learning experience.

I am, by nature a verbal processor. This week has forced me to process some things in my own head, and not with the imput of many people. It's actually been really good. People will always talk about themselves (myself included), and it has been very educational to be UNABLE to voice my thoughts. I'm learning lots.

Today, I am home from church because the voice is still gone, and I am now feverish. I wish it was better, cause I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Boy this is scattered today... sorry, it is probably the fever and the heat!

wow and....

The "wow" was all I could say in regards to the signs and wonders camp. I was blown away at what I saw, what I experienced, and what God did with 150 kids ages 9-12 (with a few 6-8 year old siblings).

Let me give you a few snap shots:

Tuesday night, we had a service in the Multi-purpose room (for those of you who have been here). We started out with worship led by Carol Hall. The kids simply engaged immediately. With in minutes the kids were on their feet hands raised, and crying out for Jesus to come, many of them using their prayer language. This was not scripted. Lenny facilitated the meeting, helping the kids focus on healing toward the end of the worship time. He had invited people withing IHOP that needed physical healing. There were about 15 people who came up to the front of the room. For the next 45 minutes (!) the kids ALL of them, came and prayed for the sick. One woman was healed while the kids were praying. She couldn't lift her arms above her head, and her back was extremely sore. She jumped up at one point raised her hands above her head and danced around. The kids clapped and praised God, and moved on to the others that were receiving prayer. One woman, suffering from arthritis, called the next day, saying she stopped taking her meds that day, and there was NO PAIN at all. WOW

I was one they were praying for (for the Diabities) and though I wasn't healed, I felt the presence and power of God. The whole time I was up there, I was thinking of the story of the woman who reached out and touched the hem of his garment. At one point one of the girls came up and was quiet. Then she said this: "i just get the feeling that you need to have the faith of the woman who reached out for the hem of His garment." YEAH God! I told her what was happening for me, and she cried, cuz she didn't think she could hear from God. WOW

The worship times rocked. The kids amazed me, the power of God was thick everytime we got together. The kids responded well to every teaching time I did as well. It really was the power of God all over this camp. Even in the tents.

I had 11 girls in my tent, by myself, and we had astounding prayer times and great relational times. I was so proud of them... Two of the younger girls (i had 3 of the 4 young kids!) were incredible intercessors and everytime I turned around were praying for someone. We were in the prayer room for about 45 minutes and the whole time, they asked God who to pray for, went to them and prayed. At first I was a little annoyed, because the assignment was to listen to what God was saying about them... but then I realized, they were doing exactly what they were supposed to do. WOW.

I could tell many more stories... call me if you want to hear more... but know this: I have been in children's ministry for 15 years, and I have never seen anything like this... YEAH GOD! WOW

wow

NO MOSQUITOES, but watch out for Chiggers...

I'm at camp for the next few days... tents, kids, power encounters... sounds like a good week to me!

The Kansas City Signs and Wonders kids Camp is this week... starting today and going through to Wednesday. I will be sleeping in a large tent with 9 girls between the ages of 7-9. The kids are coming from 20 different states (incluing MO). I'm excited to see what God will do...

And get this, camping outside, in June and VERY FEW mosquitoes! I know that is shocking to my Winnipeg readers, but there are places in the world where mosquitoes can't carry away your dog...

They do say though, to watch out for CHIGGERS... i have NO IDEA what those are, but they are not ticks, and the burrow into your sking... hmmm, maybe mosquitoes are better...

Anyway, please pray that the lives of these kids are impacted with the Spirit of God and with His mercy. I am speaking 3 times during the camp, and my longing is for the kids to find Him and be empowered by the Spirit. I'll fill y'all in on Thursday!

Camp

HELP! ANY IDEAS?

I don't usually ask for help when it comes to curriculum, but I have been gooing through the armor of God with my 4 and 5 year olds on Sunday morning. So far we have gone through the Breastplate of Righteousness (focusing on the story of David and Goliath, and how he did what was right LONG before he slew Goliath) and last week Pam did this awesome lesson on the Shield of Faith (using the story of the healing of the woman who touched the hem of his robe)...

This week I want to focus on the belt of truth. I really like the story of Caleb and Joshua, who believed the truth of God's promises as they spied out the land. My HELP comes from a complete blank for a cool fun craft to make with them. Obviously there is making a belt... but with what and how can it be cool? We have made the breastplate with pie plates, the shield with foam and a cool crest that represented who we are... but a belt? How boring is that?

Keep in mind these are 4 and 5 year olds so using a wood burner on leather or something is out of the question... (and besides I already thought of that). I want this lesson to really emphasize that it is GOD ALONE that speaks unbreakable promises, and therefore we can always believe him... i want them to see Him and not Joshua and Caleb. (this after a friendly reminder from Tracy).

Sooooooooo... you creative people... give me some ideas! And keep in mind this is for THIS sunday!!!!

Thanks

weather and the pursuit of the heart

80 degrees, clear skies, and a heart longing for more!

It is beautiful weather in KC right now, following a week or more of Tornado warnings,flash floods and severe damaging storms. But today there is not a cloud in the sky and the humidity is not too high. It is gorgeous!

My heart is longing for more though. I spent about 4 hours in the prayer room yesterday, praying, reading, MSNing, and longing to be filled with His presence. The prayer room, as I have said before, is an amazing place... His presence is thick there and at times can physically be felt. Yesterday, during the 10:00 -12:00 intercession, there was an announcement made that set the place ON FIRE!

We have been praying against abortion and death in Kansas City for a long time. (It was super intense when I first got here in February and it has continued in it's intensity). Yesterday, the city announced that one of the abortion clinics in North KC was shut down due to health code vialations (scary thought). There were rats in the building! The doctor was stripped of his liscence and the clinic is shut down!

The announcement was made in our meeting and we immediately followed that with fiery intercession for the unborn. And it left me extremely excited, hopeful, and longing to see more. The room was electric as we realized in a tangible way, that God is at work in the city.

A couple of nights ago, I sat in the prayer room praying and typing a letter to a few friends. I felt the presence of the Lord as I was asking some tough questions and sharing my heart. I know that God is part of the process as I seek Him out and learn what His word says about the day to day, as well as the days to come. I trust Him, and I know that my longing for more... will find Him!

Keep praying for God's heart as I seek to move in the direction of the core area here in Kansas City, as well as continued revelation on what to teach (and model) to the real young ones here at IHOP.

Thanks for all your continued prayer and connections!

i've seen enough to know

When do we move from knowing to believing?

I've been thinking about that a lot lately as I teach moldable minds, but also as I read through scripture. When was the moment that the reality of what Christ did for me became a belief and a motivation, going beyond the knowledge of Sunday School stories. I remember the day that I said "the prayer". I was 13 at a Christian Camp in Michigan. Camp Geneva, a beautiful place on Lake Michigan and I camp I went to more than once. But for whatever reason, that year, the message of Christ's death and resurrection made sense to me, and I began the journey of Him becoming my king.

But was that the moment I believed, with my whole heart? It's a question I've been asking for years. But I had a moment tonight while I was in the prayer room that I realized, that I have seen enough of God to know that He loves me -- forever. So where does that motivate my life? I know that it becoming a deeper motivation than it has ever been. Maybe that is all I need to know.

Now I know that the reason that I live is to love HIM and be loved BY HIM. That is my believing... for there is none like Him, and I was MADE for loving Him. I've seen enough to know THIS truth. And it changes everything.

You know you are prophetic when...

here are some of the names of the kids that have come to my class these last few days:
Hosea, Elisha, Elijah, Daniel, Micah, and Joel.

Then there is Isaac, Jacob, Terzah, and Phoebe.

and my personal favourite... Wade (named this because his mother had to "wade" through many rivers of difficulty to have him... the name means to go through many deep waters, and was also chosen because the Israelites crossed many waters on dry ground...)

So, can you tell I'm in a community of people who believe in the Propehetic?

Tonight I jokingly said, "Okay I need all my major prophets on the right and my minor prophets on the left."

No one found it as funny as I did.

WAHHHHHH

Wahhhh, Wahhhhh! okay, that was about all I heard tonight... guess that is all part of being with kids... so here is my whine:

Why is everyone OFFLINE when I want to chat/vent?!?!?!?

CRAZY CONFERENCE!!!

There are 21 children on the roster for the 1 and 2 year olds for this conference. There are 30 on the roster for the 4 and 5 year olds. This is crazy. But it is what it is. Please pray for peace in these rooms over the next three days. And for God's presence to ministerto all of the kids!

Provision... amazing

I am so amazed at how God has provided for me over the last four months. One of those ways has been through the conferences. We have a conference every month and I work all the sessions of every conference. That is true this month too. From that I receive enough money to pay rent, and have a little extra for bills, etc. I also am receiving support from various people and it has been great.

I know as well that this summer, there are no conferences. I'm not sure what that will mean for me, financially, but I know that God is faithful. It has been astounding to watch as people (often in the 11th hour) find that exact amount in their mailbox that they needed to pay the bill. Living by faith is a phenomenal thing! Mike Bickle talks about building a history in God in a financial way as well. My history in God this way, is huge. I have seen Him come through again and again and again.

I'm excited to see how his provision will come again this summer. This is not some subtle plea for funds (though I would love to have any of you partner with me in the work God is doing here), it is really a statement of His provision and His faithfulness.

IHOP really is a cool place. There are 400 + people who raise their own support and live on faith... the stories here make me believe that God comes through again and again. I received a gift recently that I wasn't expecting and it came exactly when I needed it. Almost to the cent of what I needed to pay. Coincidence? I don't think so! I think that God honours stepping out in faith... not irresponsibility, but stepping out when He says so, and watching Him provide.

A look into the 24/7 prayer room -KC style.

"Release your power... we ask for signs and wonders and miracles
we ask for breakthrough encounters. Pour out your Spirit oh God
the same Spirit that was on Peter and John. Endue us with power. Break in even now. Power from on high, break in."

The prayer room is buzzing right now. It's the Global Bride Groom Fast again, and the room is filled with 600-700 people. The dancers are dancing, the singers are singing and Mike is at the mic praying prayers like this one:

We are looking to be a people who walk worthy, even though we are prone to wander, Release us in the power of the Spirit, new depths new understandings, new truths as the word becomes real in us... We want to walk in the truth of the Spirit, the spirit of Prayer alive in us so that we can walk worthy. Give us the knowledge of your will. Give us your heart O God. Fill us with the knowledge of your will! Strengthen us with might and fruitfulness to mark this house and this city. Give us grace to walk worthy! So come and breathe on us.

Count us worthy, make us blameless in your sight.

This is exactly what God has been speaking to me about the last couple of days... being worthy... living holy (wholely) His. Deuteronomy 30-32 are incredible in this regard.

Deuteronomy 29:29 " The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever that we may do all the words of this law."

Back to the prayer room: "There is no one like you Jesus, there is no one like you."

I love that it ALL comes back to focusing our eyes on Him and knowing that it is through HIS grace that we are made worthy at all.

Just wanted to give you a quick view of the prayer room!

Growing up

There is a growing sense in me that I, at 33, am actually grown up.

I have an apartment.
I have my own set of dishes, pots and pans, and my own living room set.
I own a plant that hasn't died.
I deside what I want to do, and do it... all the time (and it is NOT considered rebellion!!!)
I LOVE reading the Bible and Praying.
I pay the bills.
I drive (still don't own a car, but I drive).
Kids think I am 40. (I guess I have no choice but to be grown up!)
and probably the most tell tale sign is that:
I'm seen as responsible.

I miss the days of NO responsibility sometimes. I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but I do miss the days when I could go and just play with the toys, not pick them up, to make the craft, not have to think it up and make it ready for 25 kids! I miss the days when someone told me what room I was supposed to go to, rather than facilitate 11 staff. And yet if I am honest, I would rather do what I do, than do anything else... so I guess I don't miss it that much!

A little boy this morning told me that he will be six in a week. That means he can start going to the older kids class and he is more than excited. He is also more than ready. He reads already, and speaks (fluently -- no joke) 3 langauges. He also showed me this morning that it is moments like what he experienced, that make me glad that I do what I do.

We were worshiping to the song, "Now is the Time to Worship" and the kids were all really into it. I was too. Then I look over at Oswald (that really is his name!) and he is in his "cave" (our prayer posture in Prayer Ground) interceeding for his classmates. I heard him praying, "god, PLEASE, let them really come to worship you and not just pretend or obey Miss Joyshika" I almost burst into tears.) I am so humbled by these kids, which is probably also why I feel overwhelmed by the responsiblity sometimes. This is not a small thing. It is eternity that we are touching! And these kids are closer to it than I am. I am truly humbled, and truly awed, and truly honoured to be with them every chance I can.

an interesting quote

At the Encounter God Service tonight, Mike was talking about the life of David and how it relates to running after God and developing a lifestyle of prayer and devotion. He was focusing in on 1 Samuel 17 and the story of David and Goliath. There is much I could say, like... Goliath challenged the people of Israel in essence by saying that he did not fear them... now I have been reading through Dueteronomy and EVERYONE was afraid of Israel because they KNEW that their God was with them... so here it is now in Sauls reign, and the Philistines were no longer afraid of the Israelite people... because Israel was not living in a way where the nations KNEW that their God was with them... in fact when Goliath challenged them, the mighty men of Israel DREW BACK. Interesting.

But that wasn't even the quote I wanted to emphasize. At one point Mike was going through all the people who said David couldn't defeat Goliath. First his brother who called him prideful, then Saul who said he was too small, and finally Goliath who just laughed at him. But here is the quote:

"Everyone called him too young, too small... he wasn't, he was annointed"

I think we are quick to look at people and want credentials and experience and a list of accomplishments. The reality is that NONE of that matters if there is not a depth of relationship and annointing on our lives. David accomplished alot, he was a warrior, a shepherd, a king, a father, and I'm sure many other things, but he is remembered as a "man after God's own heart." David may have been young when he killed Goliath, but he was the only one who had a history with God and a depth of relationship that allowed him to stand up and say "I come at you in the name of the Lord my God" and have it mean something. David killing Goliath wasn't for his fame and glory, it was for God's. He killed Goliath so that the Philistines would KNOW that God was Israel's god, and that there was none like him, and to restore the FEAR of the Lord in the hearts of the surrounding nations.

I am praying that again, in our day, Davids would arise whose hearts are the Lords and will cause many to remember the fear of the Lord. And I believe (for what it's worth) that many of them will be seen young, but they will be annointed.

A Question

Walked in to the prayer room this morning...
The chorus that was being sung was:
"Is this why you break me, so that you can make me a dwelling place of God?"
It's an interesting question to me in that I have been reading so much of the Old Testament as of late. I keep seeing this powerful God and his anger arroused at a people who quickly complain and give in to the temptations and alluremnents around them. Now I know from experience that God is not an angry God and that he is actually quite taken with us his creation, but I do wonder sometimes what it means when I feel so far away from Him.

The other day I was talking with someone and we were discussing difficult times being an invitation to deeper intimacy with God, rather than it being a "punishment" for our sin. That's a fascinating subject to me. could it be tat when the Lord is silent, it isn't because He is disappointed in me (my typical first response) or that my sin blocks the way (my next response) or that God is just distant and there is an eliment of cruelty in His aloofness... (yes I go there too...); but what if it is Him taking a few steps ahead of us, and he is waiting for us to come join Him. What if it is really Him inviting us to something new, a new response, a new adventure, a new depth of relationship in him.

I love when God is near, and I feel close and I know that we are "clickng along", but this new perspective of God drawing in the silence is an exciting one.

So again the question "Is this why you break me, so you can make me a dwelling place of God?" actually in some crazy way excites my heart.

Happy Birthday DAD

Today is my dad's birthday. He is 59 years old today. ( I hope that is right Dad, sorry if I got it wrong!) I've been thinking about him a lot today and just wanted to highlight the things that I think are pretty cool about my dad.

1. He is a man that loves God and willingly proclaims him.
2. He has a great sense of humour and often makes people laugh.
3. He is a hard worker and will finish a job, even whn he is in pain.
4. He is an amazing Grandfather to his grandkids (I love watching him with my nephew William!)
5. He is a private man who has much well earned wisdom
6. He is highly respected among his peers
7. He is a generous man
8. He renovates every house he lives in and does it with pride
9. He has been married to my mom for 39 years!
10. He has me for a daughter... (doesn't get much cooler than that Dad!)

Anyway, hope you had an awesome day Dad, I know you are reading, so I thought this would be even better than a card... so from your "far away" daughter... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!