Joyska's Journal: March 2005











Wednesday, March 30, 2005

oops, hit the wrong button...
Anyway, does this sound like me? Usually gregarious, and sociable with a large circle of friends, interested in almost everything and brings a zest to life that draws others to them. At the same time, values depth and authenticity in close relationships and prefer open honest communication. According to Meyers-Briggs... this is me. I am an ENFP, an extrovert (no surprise there) intuitive, a feeler, and a perceiver (as opposed to introverted, sensitive, a thinker and a judger). I don't know if I agree with everything the test says, but there are some possible fits.

Who are these people though who only say what is thought through? Or those who look at the world from a perspective of organization and order? Or those that THINK about everything!!!! I'm sure that they are wonderful people, I just don't know how they operate!! (or at least the test tells me I can't). It's all good though. There are enough variations with in the Children's Equipping Center, that we have it all covered! (Phew)

Now on to Deborah Heiberts class...
Again today on fasting. Now there is no way I can share all that she said today as I took 7 (yes seven) pages of typed notes in three hours and she handed out 32 (seriously) pages of her own notes. I will share what really struck me though.

"The Bridegroom Fast (which is a three day fast that is coming up again next week) is a paradigm of fasting that enlarges the heart through the encounter of the beauty of a Bridegroom God. God has designed that when we give ourselves voluntarily to this kind of weakness (in fasting), in order to make way for the experience of intimacy with our Lord; our hearts actually expand to receive more of him. No other demension in the grace of God expands our spiritual capacity like fasting before a Bridegroom God. Our hearts expands and our spiritual capacity to receive increases. It is a catalyst to speed up the depth and measure to which we receive from the Lord. We receive greater measures of revelation at an acceleraterd pace, and a deeper impact on our hearts."

The idea that fasting can help us get closer quicker to the heart of the one who longs for us is incredible. First of all that he longs for us, and secondly that there is a benefit to us, as we run after him with everything that we have and are. So much of what is taught here speaks of this intimacy with Jesus. I'm beginning to touch it, but it takes time to even learn how to "detox" from the appetites I run after.

Anyway, lots to "chew" on... parden the really bad pun!
Joyska at 5:45 PM
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Does this sound like me?

Joyska at 5:43 PM
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Monday, March 28, 2005

so what should I say Pam?

It's 12:36 AM and Pam is wandering around our kitchen looking for something to eat. The chocolate she found in the freezer, seemingly, was not good enough. She returns to the refridgerater again and again and again... still nothing worth eating to satisfy the craving... or take away the hunger... Oh good, she found crackers and peanut butter, and look we have Jam! Bretton's apparently taste like cardboard in the USA (not in Canada) so she has found the Kebbler club crackers...

Can you say "desperate"... with 100% fruit Jam no less... Yes it is true... how sad is she? What she wants is biscuits with Peanut butter and Jam... just because it would be better than crackers... what she REALLY wants is PEPSI (we are working out our differences as best we can) and FRITOS (at least we agree on some things!). The problem is she does not want to drive to WalMart at 12:45 AM... what IS her problem... oh wait, if she had gone to bed 2 hours ago, she wouldn't be in this perdicament... I would show you a picture of this event, but she's already done eating the crackers... there were only five left in the box...

Please... care packages would be deeply appreciated... cupboards emptying... fridge echoing... energy fading......

Of course, we do have 12 packages of Ramen noodles left...

Pam has returned to the fridge... "I WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK!!!"

We have both decided it is time to sleep and face the all staff FAST day that begins tomorrow (today)...
Joyska at 10:26 PM
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"the living room"

These are pictures of the inside of Shiloh.  We had out Children's Leadership Summit here.  It was cold and windy but apparently in the summer it is absolutely beautiful.  It is "right behind" IHOP, although it would take you a bit to walk to it, and this time of year you would need some heavy duty rubber boots!



It was a great place for 50 or so people though! 




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Joyska at 1:09 PM
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This is Shiloh Retreat Center

located at the highest point in Kansas City...

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Joyska at 12:57 PM
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Saturday, March 26, 2005

God is in our midst

This weekend was my first Children's Leadership Summit. Man, if you work with kids, you need to come to one of these! It was beautiful. There were about 50 people who came just to hear more about what happens with the kids here. The main speaker of course was Lenny, but Tracy (his wife) and Dee Bennett spoke one of the sessions as well. I have been in enough trainings now where I have heard a lot of the stuff, but hearing it all together and being in a meeting where people were hearing it for the first time was inspiring. I wish I could in one blog tell you what happened, but it is too much. The best way to describe it was that God was in our midst.

A key phrase for me, was this: You may not be called to Children's ministry, but we are all called to pass on our knowledge, wisdom, and experience to those who come after us. It is so NOT about filling slots on a Sunday Morning, even though we need to do that, it's about recognizing that everything that God is doing in us, he wants to, and is doing in our kids.

Not convinced? Ask the next kid you see what God is saying to THEM. I promise you, that after they get over the shock that you even asked, they will either walk away with a hunger in their heart to find out, or they will blow you away with what God is saying to them. If we aren't asking the question, how will they ever know,first that God wants to and will talk to them, and second, that we want to hear what He is saying. It's the whole Samuel thing AGAIN! I can't seem to get away from that!

Anyway, I've stepped off my soapbox (for awhile anyway) Let me just say this, it is one thing to think it's possible, it's another to see it in action. I'm seeing it man, and it is truly God in our midst, speaking through the children. Let's take the time to listen!
Joyska at 4:57 PM
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Thursday, March 24, 2005


Bloggerbot works too for pictures Yvonne!!! I finally figured out how to use this system anyway!!! AH... what I wouldn't do for a Tim's right about now! Posted by Hello
Joyska at 11:18 PM
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Notice the "roll up the rim"... Posted by Hello
Joyska at 11:07 PM
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this is what Canadians do when they are desperate for Tim Horton's coffee in a foriegn land... Posted by Hello
Joyska at 11:05 PM
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

What do you think of this?

This was in my class notes from this morning (amidst a discussion of dimensions of the lifestyle of Fasting):

Silence Amidst People: To be silent in the presence of others is a true discipline It goes against everything familiar to us to not express ourselves to others and to not seek their understanding by what we way. We are so unaware of how much of our speech is used to endorse ourselves, to be heard and understood. We are so attached and addicted to the consoling of others in what we are feeling on every subject. When we are silent we cannot promote ourselves or gain approval and affirmation through what we say. we cannot defend ourselves when falsely accused. We cannot state our case when we are misunderstood. Denying ourselves the stimulant of expression progressively dethrones this false god within.


It's harder than it sounds.

This afternoon was amazing. we were practicing the "Harp and Bowl" model as an INTRO to IHOP group. It is typically pretty good, considering we are all learning it. But it is apparently better than any other intro group. we have lots of musicians in our group, and a real intercessory crowd. We really experienced the presence of the Lord in the room. There were moments when we knew that healing was being released, and saw some healing of a woman who had a migraine, we felt a real prophetic annointing as many had words of knowledge and prophecies for people in the room. It was great. The leaders, Dale and Ed, were excited about the fact that God was honouring our pressing in. It's a 3 hour class and it is meant as a training time and practicing of antiphonal singing, spontaneous songs, and apostolic prayers. Not too bad for a practice eh?
Joyska at 6:56 PM
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

okay, did I do this now? Posted by Hello
Joyska at 5:06 PM
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did i finally figure out how to do this? Isn't Sim cute? Posted by Hello
Joyska at 5:03 PM
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I miss Miss Joy, but Miss Joyska is funnier!

What? Hail in Kansas City? Sadly it is true. This morning it felt a little chilly outside, then coming back from a meeting there was hail pelting my head, now as i look out my window it is a nasty mixture of hail, rain, and dare I say it? snow. And on a day that I am missing my Winnipeg friends. I think God may have misunderstood, I said I was missing my friends... not the weather!! Ah, God always has a sense of humour.

This past Sunday was my first official take over of the 1-5 year olds (without any of the former leadership in the room) I have one little girl who is not pleased that Miss Joy is no longer teaching. She happens to be one of Dwayne and Jennifer Roberts children. She is 5 and very sweet on most days, but she certainly is not pleased by my presence. Here in lies my challenge! It's not very often that I come in to contact with children that don't really like me. It's not about being liked, cuz, ya know, that's not my goal; but when it does happen, there is something that rises up that says, "we'll see how long this lasts." She's a pretty tough cookie though. I took consulation from her aunt and uncle (Cheryl and Dale Anderson -- the leaders of INTRO to IHOP) when they said that she doesn't particularly like Dale either! I have a plan though, and began putting it into practice this past week.

It went something like this:

Joyska "so Chloe, what do you want to play with?"
Chloe -- silence
Joyska "are you busy or can you help me?"
Chloe -- slight turn of the head, but still silence
Joyska -- "i need someone to colour in these faces for me and make them
silly, but I guess I can do it."
Chloe -- still silent and walks away.

Okay, so it didn't turn her heart, but she looked at me, which was a start.

Then later it went like this
Joyska" Hey Chloe, do you know where the snack is?"
(I knew where it was, but I wanted her to help me)
Chloe "Yeah, why?"
(She spoke to me!!!)
Joyska " Well, I was hoping you could help me, because I am busy colouring these faces, and I need someone to get the snack -- ya wanna help?"
Chloe (after a long silence)"I used to help Miss Joy with the snack"
Joyska "Yeah, well then you are the most qualified to do it, you know how to do it best.. do you want to help me?"
Chloe (again silent for a bit) "Okay, but can I do it myself?"
Joyska "Sure, I'll just get it down for you, but it's a big job are you sure you can do it?"
Chloe "Yep, I KNOW I can"

I spent the next ten minutes watching Chloe, very carefully putting the snack into the cups and handing it out, then going back and filling all the other cups with water and handing those out. At the end I thanked her, and had all the kids thank her as well. When her dad came to pick her up, I heard her say as they were walking out... "I miss Miss Joy, but I think Miss Joyska is funnier"

I wasn't all that funny on Sunday, but somehow I broke through! Way too fun
Joyska at 12:08 PM
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Sunday, March 20, 2005

Today in History

Today in History, the king of kings entered Jerusalem on the foal of a donkey.
Today in History, the people welcomed Him in the name of the LORD
Today in History, the children proclimed the truth of who he was and is
Today in History, they parted the crowds to allow him through.

Today of course is Palm Sunday. The week we are entering into is a significant thing even in our lives. As we welcome him into our "city" in the name of the Lord, make way for him and let the Children proclaim his coming!

Even in my tiredness, I choose this morning to make way for him. Even in that I feel ready to teach the kids this morning their place in this story, then and now.

Have a great Sunday!
Joyska at 7:04 AM
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

The way, the truth, the life

Class was cancelled this morning so I made cookies while I listened to as many CD's as I could to get caught up. There is so much information, and all of it requires that I search it out in scripture and to really dig for answers. I love that aspect of it, but it turns your heart and head around a little as some of the info is new, is challenging and grips your heart.

Tonight one of the teachers from FSM (Forerunner School of Ministry) had a picture of the ground shaking beneath our feet and that all the gravel and stones were shaken away as we sank deeper into the rock (which was Christ). I feel that. All the things that used to distract me from... well, everything, are falling away. I haven't been to or seen a movie since I moved here. (Not that movies are bad, that is NOT what I am saying) but for me they had totally become a distraction from the Word, from prayer, even from relationships. I haven't missed them at all. Maybe I will when I am not quite so busy, but I don't think so. I feel like too, that all the distractions have been replaced with a greater focus.

Don't get me wrong. I live less than 500 yards from the House of Prayer, and I am not in this room near as often as I want to be. I still live my day to day life. I still take care of the kids, I plan, I purpose, I set about my day, but I also find that the purpose of it all is changing. I don't find myself doing things because they need to be done. I'm doing things because it is honouring to the King. I'm doing things because it is part of His plan and purpose for my life. It's the "good thing he has purposed for me to do"

It also is a place of wrestle as I posted the other day. It's not all laid out the way I like it, the way I would do it, the way I think it should be done. That is part of the shaking for me. It has very little to do with me. There is so much more to it, but I (for one of the first times in my life hehehe) am at a loss for words.

I will say this. Pray for clarity and truth. That is the deepest desire of my heart. That God would speak clearly and that truth would be my foundation... which works cuz doesn't it say somewhere that He is the Way, the Truth, AND the Life? I guess my prayer is a good one!!! Please pray it with me!
Joyska at 9:47 PM
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

please pray

We just got word from a family from Equador that their pastor in the last 24 hours has lost 2 of his children to the bubonic plague and his third is sick. The village is in danger of it spreading throughout the community. They can not get proper medical care because of the contageous nature of the disease. Pray for healing and intervention.

There is so much going on around the world...

You guide me through the dark
you calm my fearful heart
I will rest in you

You give me perfect peace
You fill my deepest need
I will rest in you

God, shining like the sun
Let your kingdom come
I want to be with you
In your presence
And I'm here to give you praise
you take my Breath away
And I will be with you
In your presence


Your kindness draws me in
Now I'm with you once again
And I will rest in you
My God who reigns on high
To you alone I cry
and I will rest in you

I guess that says it all...

It's amazing how we can get caught up in the "horror" of the day, the things that truly are terrible and will bring much stress and pain, but when we realign our focus on the one who cares more deeply than we ever could, and that we WILL be WITH HIM, the whole atmosphere changes.

You just caught a glimpse of the prayer room as it happens. There is a reason that I love being here!
Joyska at 7:01 PM
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

my mind has many wrestlings today. It's all good wrestlings, but wrestlings none e less.

for example: I was in a staff meeting with the leaders of the CEC (Children's Equipping Center) today and we were discussing the conference that we just completed. It was really good, all of us were positive and excited about what we saw God doing. But that is where the wrestle began.

Before I left Winnipeg, I really felt that the mission statement for the Kids ministry there was "To build a generation that STANDS UP and STANDS OUT in their pursuit of Jesus". What I have come to realize is that is MY mission statement for my life. As I sat there in the meeting, I was wrestling with myself and with God "How do I do that?" That is the question and the wrestle of my heart today.

how do we teach kids to stand in a world that is increasingly walking away from the things of God? How do we teach children to stand out in their pursuit of the Holy in a world bent on pleasure alone? It has been a bit of a paradigm shift for me as I have had the honour of working with the real little ones. I see them and I am rocked with the knowledge that God will and does speak to these ones. I am amazed at the way they are so open and ready to hear. How the kingdom belongs to such as these.

But how do I equip them? How is it that God would use me to minister his love to them, how is it that I, who is just beginning to understand how to STAND myself teach these vulnerable, little ones a confidence in their king, and an assurance of his hand walking with them through all that will come at them.

How do I teach that we are NOT of this world but still in it. How do I teach that the Idols of North America are just as real as the idols of false religions, and that we are called to stand apart and not be like the world? How do I teach that holiness means more than going to church.

And then I start thinking about what is coming this spring and summer and beyond. As I step into the outreach and the core area of Kansas City, how do I teach these kids that only know the name of Jesus as a swear word or as some crutch their grandparents use to get through life, how do I teach them the truth of the gospel?

Well in some respects the answer is simple... I don't. Jesus does. I am struck again by the passage that promises that God will give us the words to speak when we stand before those who would challenge us and even kill us. He gives us the words. That is what I must trust.

I am sitting in the prayer room right now, and they are praying for the word of God not being hindered in the city of Kansas City, that it would run "swiftly and with power". "Many would come, and many would see and many would trust the Lord" That's how we do it, we pray for power on the spoken word... we go, speak and we see God bring transformation. "Let there be power like we have never seen" (for those of you who know how the prayer stuff works here, the quotations are actually antiphinal singing in response to the prayer)

"When the world is shaking and nothing stands, I will hold on to your hand, my refuge."
Joyska at 6:01 PM
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Monday, March 14, 2005

Tools for the prayer room

We have this course on Friday mornings called tools for the prayer room. It's a great class, because when you are spending 12+ hours a week (usually more) in the prayer room, it is easy to just "put in time" rather than really engage.

Here in lies the story...

Sunday afternoon, I really wanted to spend some time in the prayer room. Because of the conference and meetings, prep and other things, I had spent only a couple of hours in the prayer room the week before. I was pretty exhausted, but I missed being in there. So, around 4:00 I headed over. When I went in, Kirk Bennett was prayer leading, and he was focusing in on the abortion issue. I immediately felt the presence of the Lord and was crying. This is an issue that has become very important in my heart to pray about. I sat down with tears streaming down my face, leaned my head back on the chair and...

fell asleep. Yep, deep issue, emotions fully engaged, and I fell asleep.

Go ahead, laugh, it was funny. the worst (or best, depending on how mean spirited you are) part was when I woke up, I opened my eyes and realized where I was. Kirk and the team were still going strong, but as I looked at my watch, it was 5:35. I had to be in the preschool by 5:40, and as I sat up and looked around, there were a number of people who smiled or winked at me.

A bus could have run me over I was so embarrassed. I knew by the expressions of those around me, that I had been SNORING in the house of prayer for over an hour! I was mortified!

I guess I needed the sleep, but really...

And out of humiliation as much as out of necessity, I picked my ego off the floor and walked out of the prayer room with my dignity trailing behind, wiping the drool off my chin as I went.

My only consulation in this whole thing is that the Bible does say that he grants sleep to those he loves! (I just don't think he meant in the prayer room!)

Yeah...
Joyska at 9:13 PM
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Sunday, March 13, 2005

oh yeah,

Happy Birthday to my brother Marcel! Hope you are all well!!!!
Joyska at 10:01 PM
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wow. I just came from my TENTH session with the three to five year olds in FOUR days. And I'm still standing. This morning and tonight were probably my favourite sessions! Today I went through the story of Samuel and Eli * a personal favourite * with the kids. It was so good! We talked about how Samuel lived in the presence of the LORD, and how it must have been for him. Then we talked about Eli and how he was old and needed help. Then of course the best part about how God called Samuel -- eventhough he was still a boy -- to be God's voice to Eli. The kids were really listening when I said that there are times when God will tell us things that people may not want to hear, but if we are sure that God said it to our Spiritual ears, not our natural ears, than we NEED to say it.

We talked about what it meant to really here God's voice, that sometimes it is a picture in our head, or we "hear" him say something to us, or we see or hear a word, a name, whatever God wants to show us. Then I had them get into their "caves" (which is curled up tight on the floor - like they are bowing before the King) and we prayed. I asked Jesus to come and speak to the kids. It was great.

The kids heard everything from "I love you" to "I saw a table with lots and lots of food and someone saying 'come and eat'" Of course you get the kids who want to make a joke, but many of them heard things. There were a few of the kids that said they had gotten something, but they didn't want to share, which of course is their choice, but I talked again about Eli, and how Samuel was afraid to tell Eli too, but because it was what God had spoken, Samuel had to be obedient. One of the girls then said, "I feel danger is coming" -- she is four. Of course we prayed again, thanking God for speaking and asking for protection. I could really sense God's presence in the room, especially tonight. There is something incredible about helping kids know and understand that they can come to Jesus at anytime, and he will meet them there.

Now before someone warns me that he doesn't speak everytime, we talked about that too, and said that sometimes when he is quiet, it makes us want him more, and maybe that is why he doesn't say anything. So we need to keep seeking and asking! Yeah God, they got that.

Have I said lately that I love what I am doing? These kids, all kids, can hear. We just need to be an Eli, and help them recognize that it is God who is speaking, through his Holy Spirit, prophetically, and to our hearts. And of course, we need to test and take somethings the kids hear as kids trying to fit in or being silly, but I tell you, you KNOW when a child has received the word of the Lord.

In the spirit of the last four days, let me just say HALAL!! Which means to celebrate WILDLY. (that was a fun class too!)
Joyska at 9:56 PM
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Thursday, March 10, 2005

Conference

I have to make this short cuz I'm in the middle of conference (healing and the prophetic) in which I am working 10-12 hours a day. Conferences are just like that! I am with 15-20 of the most adorable three to five year olds you could ever meet (other than the kids at WCV of course!!!) and loving it. I have several new best buddies, and one of them even picked flowers for me today! *of course, i didn't have the heart to tell him that he wasn't supposed to pick the flowers in front of the building!!*

I have 3 sessions with the kids tomorrow and then the typical 2 on Sunday (where I am actually teaching and leading it all- very exciting...) so I need to get some sleep. We are teaching the kids over the 8 sessions the 7 Hebrew words for praise (i.e. Shabach (to shout) Tehillah (to sing) Zamar (to play an instrument) yadah (to raise our hands) and my favourite, Towbar (to clap)) It's been awesome to see the kids really engage in worship and praise as we learn the words and what they mean. There is far more to say, but it will need to wait! Good night!
Joyska at 1:12 AM
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

oh my goodness

i wish I could say I was making this up:

I'm sitting at my desk in my office, minding my own business, trying to sort a few minor details out for the week to week stuff that I do on Friday nights. Bob Leonard, one of the conference administrators asks me what I am doing at 4:00. Well, since it is the Global Bridegroom Fast, I am tempted to say, "ah, going to the prayer room" but instead I say, "what do ya need?"
Bob says, "I need drivers to pick up the shuttles for the conference"
Joyska, "Sure I can help ya with that..."

So 4:00 comes around and I am in a van with 7 other people complete with Gary Cooper cramed in the hatch of the mini-van... if you don't know who he is think of someone tall like Brian, about John Rademaker's age and and absolutely hysterical. Now, he chose to be in the hatch, because he said it had the most leg room, but it was quite the sight. ANYWAY... we get to the place that we are getting the shuttles from and my heart does a little flip. In the parking lot are nothing but BUSES!!!!
Joyska, " you know I don't have a bus liscense right?"
Gary,"that's okay they are the short buses, you don't need a bus lisence."
Joyska, " I have to drive that on the highway?!"
Tim, " yeah, but it's one lane, no need to change lanes at all."
Okay, i can do this
So we pull out of the parking lot. I am #4 of 7 Mini buses. It's kinda fun, I got Amanda infront of me, Pam behind me, and we head out. We get on to 71, all cars get out of our way (I'm sure 7 buses can be a little intimidating) and we are heading toward Longview. (for those of you who know the area we picked up the buses in Belton... not that far away, what could possibly go wrong?)

I was feeling comfortable, no problems, window down, enjoying the sun and the wind, when suddenly Amanda throws on her hazards and pulls off the highway right by Blue Ridge Road. What do I do? I don't know where I am (for I have NO sense of direction) and I don't want to leave Amanda stranded, so I pull off behind her. ALL THREE OTHER BUSES SAIL RIGHT ON BY.

Amanda at that point thinks we all did. I see her reach for her cell phone and start making frantic calls. She finally looks in her rearview and sees me. She comes over to me and tells me she is OUT OF GAS!! She is happy I stopped, locks her bus, and gets in mine. We start making our way to IHOP. We get to Grandview and Red Bridge just as Gary is coming around the corner. We pull over and he meets up with us. Well, once the story is told, Gary says, well one of y'all gots to come with me to get gas and get the bus. Amanda at that point is frazzled and says she has to get back... I am praying, Lord PLEASE! I am such a chicken! Send someone else to drive these crazy highways! (During Rush hour no less)

Well, either because God likes me, or it was just coincidence, Sandy pulled up and on hearing the situation, offered to go. So I didn't even have to show (OR SWALLOW) my fear, and everyone got home safely... although I held up traffic on Red Bridge trying to take the corner by IHOP!

So there ya go... being a servant to all can eventually get ya in trouble! Although, I tell ya, if I wasn't doing the kids stuff, I would enjoy being a shuttle! Those buses are kinda fun to drive!!
Joyska at 3:44 PM
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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Happy Birthday Oma!!!

Today is my Oma's 102nd birthday (oma is grandmother in Dutch). She lives in Holland and I went to see her 2 years ago on her 100th birthday with my mom and dad. 102. She is still doing well, still living in a home for seniors in Doorn (in Holland). As far as we know she is still healthy and going strong...

102. She is 69 years older than me. What must she have seen in her long life? the inventions of automobiles, planes, computers, skyscrapers, landing on the moon, music records, tv, untold things that we can't imagine life without.

When I was there two years ago, she was singing songs and hymns that she had known her whole life. She quoted Psalms and loved hearing people sing. I realize that I want that to be me. I want to, when I am old and gray (not necessarily 102!!) have the Word so deep in my heart that it is all I can remember. Out of the heart the mouth speaks...

Well, I know Oma isn't reading this, but Happy Birthday Oma, and as you get closer to the face of Jesus, know that I am coming behind you!! (not for a while yet though!) And since I know that my parents are reading this blog, let me say in the tradition of all Dutch people "Congratulations on your mother's birthday!"

Fill ya in on the rest of my life here later!
Joyska at 9:00 PM
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Monday, March 07, 2005

gbf

Today starts the Global Bridegroom Fast. It's a three day all staff fast that is broadcast all over the world... So if you are watching... know that I am in the row right behind the camera! (That makes sure that I don't get on camera:) I'm looking forward to just spending the majority of the days in the prayer room.

So off I go!
Joyska at 7:47 AM
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Saturday, March 05, 2005

okay, i'll try...

It's been an awesome few days. Wait, it's only Saturday... wow. Friday, I had a class called Tools for the Prayer Room. We spent most of the morning talking about fasting and using the Apostolic prayers. *the prayers the apostles prayed...really it's that simple* We have some amazing teachers. Dale Anderson (fellow Canadian) spoke on Fasting and why we pursue it. He used the scripture that challenges Jesus as to why his disciples did not fast. Jesus' response was that they will fast when the Bridegroom is not with them, but it won't be out of religious observance it will be out of a longing for him. It's all about creating a longing for the one who created us and instead of constantly feeding the appetites we have with an immediate gratification, it's about feeding the longing for God. I love that. Of course be wise, don't do it in a way that will harm your body. But pay attention to how much you crave the things of the world, and go after the things that will fill your spirit. Then Eddie Boaso came in to teach on the Apostolic prayers. He went throught the Ephesians 3:16-19 including some of the history and context. It just really brought it to life and showed why it was such an important prayer, then and now. For example, Ephesus was the city of the goddess Diana, yet, Paul never addresses the stronghold and demonic influences that the people of Ephesus were obviously under. What he did do, was pray that the people and the church of Ephesus would be rooted and grounded in love and in the knowledge of God. If they were the influences in the city didn't stand a chance. It's an incredibly important prayer to pray over churches, pastors, leaders, and believers in all of our cities, wherever we are.

Friday night was the installment #3 on the Life of David. I was with the kids so I need to listen to that one yet, but I talked about light and darkness with the four to eight year olds. We used Philippians 2 --- about shining like stars, about not complaining and being pure and upright. Weighty topics for such little ears, but they got it. One of my new little buddies, came and gave my leg a hug, right in the middle of my teaching, and at 3 years old (she was with her older sisters) says, see I'm a light too! IT WAS GREAT!!! She got it. We had been talking about being a light to others and not hiding our love for Jesus or for each other, and that was her response. Beautiful.

Then today... what can I say? Today was the Intro to IHOP's "FREEDOM" day. We spent the day with Graham and Sabrina Walsh who run the healing rooms here. they were wonderful. They have spent many years researching and experiencing healing, both physical and emotional. It was great to hear them speak on Free Mason stuff, and generational diseases, as well as breaking off shame and other stuff like that. It was a great opportunity to just pray some of that stuff through and watch God bring healing all over the room. We ended the day with communion together. cool.

THEN, after the main session with Mike(which again I have to listen to the CD, cuz we were having communion and stuff at the FSM building), my friends John Booy and Russ, as well as Pam went to the JACKSTACK, again. We went last night too. It was really great. They have spent almost 30 hours in 3 days in the prayer room while Pam and I were off at our classes and other responsibilities. They LOVED it! I get so excited when my friends catch the heart of what is happening here. John was really excited and that for me was the highlight of my weekend thus far!

Tomorrow, of course is Sunday and I will once again be with the little ones. I'm looking forward to it. I certainly have made some new friends here. I saw little Kyle today in the coffee shop and he made sure that I met his Mom and that he told her all about being a shining star and the new song he learned. It was great to see how much he remembered and that he caught it. So tomorrow, we will see what God has in store.

Monday-Wednesday is the Global Bridegroom Fast. There will be a 10:00 and 4:00 all staff prayer meeting everyday as well as NO CLASSES!!!!!! So finally, I can go to the prayer room and pray!!! AS well as get caught up on CD's, readings and homework. It's a little different than my life in Winnipeg, but it's a good life!

See, I told you there was a lot to say!!!!!
Joyska at 10:18 PM
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hmmmmm

I have too much to say, so for now, I say nothing.
Joyska at 4:02 PM
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Friday, March 04, 2005

Contending for the Sending Part 2

Corey Russell (I now know his last name) spoke again tonight as a continuation of last weeks Matthew 9 discussion. Amazing. Tonight he focused more on 1 Thess. 2:4 about being approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel... he took an hour to unpack a whole bunch of stuff, so I won't attempt to put it all in here, but here are some highlights that I hope make sense without the whole context.
In Jeremiah 23, it talks about the false prophets that said and did what the people wanted to hear. They spoke safety and prosperity in a time when God was speaking judgement. The land at that time was actually seeing and experiencing some revival under the leadership of Josiah but God had not forgotten or forgiven the sins of Manassah. God said in relation to the prophets : I have not sent... yet they ran, I have not spoken... yet they prophesied, had they heard my voice they could have spoken my words and seen the nation turn.
It was under the compulsion of the "fear of man" that they spoke. They wanted to be liked, to speak words that were acceptable for all to hear. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news. Yet the question then remains are we led then by the soul or the Spirit?
It's not that every "good" word is a wrong prophesy, it's just the question that is good to ask... what is GOD actually saying. It again comes back to being in that place of prayer, asking God to kill anything that hinders his voice in us. To shut down our own desires to be gripped by something higher... His thoughts. To not move until he says go. We can accomplish more when we are truly sent in a much shorter amount of time then if we just think it's a good idea and go without his hand on our going. Intercessors is something we ARE, not something we DO. As we wrestle in prayer for others and ourselves, Jesus transforms. If you want to see and think about this more, go to Colossians 4:12 and Matthew 23. The contrast is stunning.
Anyway, it's been another really fascinating and good day. To top it off, I was sitting in the prayer room about an hour before the service tonight and I turned around only to see my friend John Booy (from Grand Rapids, MI)sitting in the row behind me!!! I thought he was coming next weekend, so I was very surprised and excited!!! More friends to come and visit!!! I love it! He and his friend are here til Sunday so I am looking forward to reconnecting with him! Yeah... God is too good!! (I'm not complaining!)
Joyska at 12:23 AM
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

the voice in the wilderness....

have you ever thought about John the Baptist? I know I haven't thought too much about him over the last 20 years of my life. Until today... Deborah Hiebert spoke in our Forerunner Foundations class (because Allan Hood is unable to use his voice for a while) on hearing the voice of Jesus in the wilderness. (She refers to Jesus as the Bridegroom) She had us look at Matthew 11:11-12 where it says, "Assuredly I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."

Jesus was commenting on John's life and said that there was none greater on earth. He describes John as the premiere example of someone who lived in radical obedience in a generation that saw many miraculous signs. He was a living example of one who waited to hear the voice of Jesus, and prepared himself and others for that voice. Deborah put it this way, John did everything he could to get out of the way so that Jesus would be made known. He wanted to know his voice, not so that he could be a great evangelist and therefore win many, but so that he could be the vessel through which the voice of Jesus would be recognized. The only thing that john said about himself is "I am a voice in the wilderness. That is all I am."

What I realized for me as I was listening to Deborah was that I want John's heart to be the characterization of my life. I want to hear the voice of Jesus so that I can be his voice... I don't want to run after having my name and my face being known. It's not about that, it's about having the words of Jesus proclaimed. John had a voice in his day, because he heard THE voice of the Bridegroom.

Does that make any sense? It rings in my heart, but I'm at a bit of a loss on how to communicate it.

Then tonight, Pam and I invited Dale and Cheryl Anderson (the leaders of Intro) over for supper. They are fellow Canadians from Calgary and just wanted to bless them. As we sat and talked for a long time and discussed many things, like the highs and lows of being here, as well as the joys of finances and support. The longer we talked the more I realized I was sitting in a room with a couple who live very much in the idea and Spirit of John the Baptist. For them, it is all about intimacy with Jesus and letting his voice be heard... ah, it's so hard to explain, but it made me want even more to bury myself in knowing the love of the FATHER, and the KING, so that the overflow of my heart is living with his voice speaking clearly through me.

Pam and I are sitting here amazed at what we have heard and learned over the last four weeks. If we left right now (which isn't the plan) we'd have enough to chew on for years to come. It's quite an experience, and there is much more to come. Crazy!
Joyska at 10:14 PM
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

week 4... already

Still sick... It seems many have caught a strong strain of cold and flu and having a hard time shaking it. It is going around fast and furious. I am on the up side of it I hope. My ears are plugged, so I feel like I am in a tunnel, but other than that I feel much better. It's hard to believe I've only been here for 4 weeks... and it is already home.

Tomorrow starts the classes again... straight through Sunday, so I am glad I am recovering. The teaching has been so great again, and I am learning so much. The life of David is Friday nights, and the depth of information is inspiring. I actually teach kids Friday night, but catch up with the tape. Saturday night is mostly about Revelation and lots of fun stuff like that, which I really enjoy and am having fun diffusing it all into understandable chunks. My favourite thing still though is the time in the prayer room. Tuesday is the all staff Fast day, and that is where all 400- 500 people are in the prayer room from 10:00 to 12:00 and 4:00 to 6:00. It is great. I usually spend a bunch of time there on Tuesday night as well. It's just a great way to get grounded before the busy week kicks in. I'm still getting time in for my daily reading as well, so I am learning and growing all the time! God is sooo good!

I've made some really great friends with three little girls who are here with their mom for a month. Claire is three, Elizabeth is 4 and a half, and Gabriella is 6. They are so sweet and their mom is just wonderful. I had lunch with them all yesterday and just loved being loved by little ones again! It was exactly what I needed! They are in my Sunday morning and evening class as well as my Friday night, so I have lots of opportunity to get to know them and just love on em. 9Not to mention get a thousand hugs when they see me in the hallway and around the base!

Anyway, I'm getting into the grove here and I am still thrilled to be here, so that must be a good thing! Bless y'all!!!
Joyska at 2:00 PM
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